The maid of honor just puked.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
