ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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