my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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