where does the pee come out of this thing
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize