Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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