Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Even my vagina gasped.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
