Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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