it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
