this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
