...so i touched it.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
