Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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