dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
