it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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