I think i peed on brittanys purse
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
