I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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