I wannas sexs uuuuu
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
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