Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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