I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he was CRYING into my vagina
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
