After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
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and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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