just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
