I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize