Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
