Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
