apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
