I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize