just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize