there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
