so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
