he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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