I love black thongs
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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