I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
