Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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