As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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