you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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