Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
