What did we do last night that was yellow?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
