I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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