You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Randomize
