Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
