Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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