if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
