dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
