I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
