How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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