you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just gargled with NyQuil
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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