How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
