plz talk dirty to me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
