so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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