We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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