come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
