Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I FOUND THE LEGS
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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