yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
