your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
