And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
