HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
