I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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