After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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