flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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