Quick, to the slutcave!
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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