worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
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U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye