Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Randomize
