Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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