im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
