There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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