I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
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