bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
